liberals want us to treat obama like a violent girlie retard

it's 1987. i'm 12 years old, practicing my jump shot. the neighborhood hottie is talking to me

"my brother thinks the Celtics are gonna win the finals this year"
"your brother's a retard, the Lakers are gonna win"

you see, my friends and i called each other retarded. i didn't call my parents retarded because they would punish me. if i called my sister retarded i got a smack on the head from my dad with, "don't call girls retarded"

anyway, she ran away crying. her brother was mentally handicapped; down syndrome i think. he was 16

when i got home later my liberal mother was waiting. "you will treat him like a friend". but i couldn't, because i called my friends "retard". what she meant was, i needed to treat him special, like a girl. i didn't get dinner that night

i think the logic goes something like this: because he is incompetent but protected, and you are not incompetent nor protected, you are obligated to mask his incompetence so we can pretend to ignore it. it's like communism or something

another thing you should know, was that i was supposed to let girls beat on me. my sister could hit me whenever she wanted, but if i hit back i got punished: "don't hit girls". my sister used to punch me a lot. i finally learned to block her punches with my elbows, but i'd even get in trouble for that sometimes, too

anyway, the next day the brother comes at me. so i'm supposed to let him beat me, right? i let him get me into a headlock, but when he went to smash my face i ran away. not sure whether i hadn't done something wrong, again, i didn't tell anyone

that night mom asks, "i heard you let that boy beat on you. why'd you do that?". i looked at her for a moment. "isn't that what you wanted?". she doesn't respond

fast forward to 2008. she thinks i'm a democrat 'cause she hears me ripping into Bush every chance i get. she's so progressive to vote for Obama. "yes we can". she's loyal and part of the enlightened. Oprah will smile on her

i can't stand it and finally tell her i won't be voting for him. if you look back at my blog posts from that time, you can get the details, but i end with, "i think that if obama is elected it will be bad for me and bad for the country in general"

she thought for a moment, "do you remember that time you let that boy beat on you?"